Thank God for Cliches

I’m sitting in a dimly lit snack shop at the Florida convention center. The sound of a billion volleyballs smack the gym floor as I type. It’s obnoxious. It’s beautiful. Not so much the constant noise, but the sound of joy. I’m here with my oldest son, Manoah, as he plays in his last volleyball tournament. I never thought I’d be a mom that would fly her kid across the country. But, alas, here I am.

He graduated from high school a month ago. At his school the parents escort the grads onto the field. At this point, the parents hug and cry and release their kid clothed in a silky gown to the stage. Sam and I walked Manoah in and, honestly, we felt like celebrities. We waved and smiled and pranced down the football field with our son who was only mildly enthusiastic.

Then something happened…

It was time to unlink my arm and let him go onto the platform with all the other seniors, but something deep in me grabbed onto his gown tighter. I can’t explain it. It was subconscious, it was unplanned, it was a knee jerk reaction. I tugged on his maroon sleeve. It was time to release him, but I didn’t want to do it. Then, finally, I let go. Then I cried.

Everyone wants to know how I’m doing. Bless their beautiful hearts. Everyone is so kind and curious and checking in on me. How am I? I am every cliche you have ever heard.

I say things like, “It goes so fast, bitter-sweet, the days are long and the years are short, I can’t believe it, savor the moments…” You know. You’ve heard them. You’ve said them yourself.

The truth is, I don’t know how I feel and these phrases are like an elevator in the lobby. I get in the elevator and chat with people in there. These overstated lines help me stay in the elevator. When the time is right, I’ll go down to the next floor. For now, I am not in a rush to fix or figure out my heart. So, if you ask me, I’ll tell you, “wow, life is crazy. I can’t believe I have an adult child. Bitter-sweet.” Elevator door closes.

I think I am doing my best to stay where I am. I don’t want to grieve early. I don’t want to grieve late. I want to be here. And, for today that means sitting poolside, watching him play volleyball, and letting him be himself (a slow release in letting him go and grow). We’ve watched movies, dined out, fought, repaired, cried, and laughed. It’s the best of motherhood.

So, yes, use all the cliches you need today. God will help you sort out the other stuff when the time is right. Borrow words that work for you even if other people have said them a million times before. It must mean they are good words and ones worth using.

Thank God.

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I reach for my Feel book often on days when my heart can’t find a center.

It’s the perfect gift for a friend who is struggling (even if that friend is YOU.)

Amazon Review from—Rachel Kelly

“Such thoughtful words. Easy to grab and digest while still getting at the deep stuff. This is great personally and a gift that could be given for pretty much any occasion (graduation, wedding, birthday, thinking of you, etc.)”

*If you haven’t left a review, would you take a moment to do so? It’s a big help!

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Stay awake to love,