10 Things I have been keeping to myself (In no particular order)
I didn’t get my husband a gift for his birthday. I am not a gift person and neither is he. Every holiday or celebration, I feel bad about this. Well, guilty. After nearly 20 years of marriage, we have accepted this about each other.
I love the show Top Chef. The new season just released and I am obsessed. If you haven’t seen it, there are 20 seasons so you are in luck! (It’s on Bravo)
I am terrible at editing. Ironically, I find the mistakes after the email is sent and I typically beat myself up for a solid 5 seconds. I am a writer for crying out loud! But, I am also human. So, love me even when I misspell words and forget commons, m-okay?
I haven’t slept well for months. I can’t fall asleep or I either wake up at 4:30am-anxious. Just wanted you to know. Once I head to bed, I start feeling a bit nervous about how the night will go. If you battle with sleep, you aren’t alone.
I have lost some hope. This feels weird to say out loud. I have never been in a place where I didn’t have hope. The last several months have been hard. I feel all squeezed out like I’m the flattened shell of a pressed orange peel. I haven’t been excited about the future or found anything to even anticipate. If hope is hard for you, I understand.
I hate basketball but love March-maddness. We are quirky beings aren’t we?! You can’t pay me to watch a NBA game, but I will devour march-madness. The brackets, the competition, the college students on the big stage all intrigue me. I just love it.
I don’t read. To clarify, I know how to read- haha. I just don’t read many books. And by “many” I mean—I read two or three books a year. It’s not that I don’t like reading, I just haven’t found the rhythm to do it since becoming a mom (that’s a long time now!). This is something I would like to grow in.
I have a book coming out in August! I haven’t made the “offical” announcement yet, but I am SO excited. My heart races when I think about it. I can’t wait to get this book in your hands. (So, maybe #5 isn’t entirely true. I anticipate this book being out in the world).
The middle years of marriage are strange. I don’t have all the words to explain this yet, but this season of married life has been a beautiful challenge. Sam and I are both going through our own challenging journeys. Holding onto each other as we both ride the rip tides of life is stretching us more than we have ever known.
I thought I’d be farther along by now. I guess there has always been a part of me that thought I would have life more figured by the time I was 43. In many ways, my faith in God continues to sustains me. But, so much of “me” is still a mystery. I am learning that my heart isn’t something to figure out, but something to discover. This has brought me real relief and even some peace.
Well, there you have it. 10 things, random and real, that I’ve been keeping to myself. I hope, even in a small way, my list helps you connect to your beautiful-bumpy life.
May the grace of God be enough for you today.
You literally just made my day! THANK YOU.
I’m so excited for your book. I texted a friend a link to preorder and she called me immediately annoyed that we have to wait 144 days until release. Thank you for sharing!