1 thing I did that changed everything

somewhere along the way

I remember standing in the driveway on a September morning in my mid-20s with my older sister. I was in the deep end of therapy and self discovery and my messy soul. To be honest, I was probably a little annoying with how often I talked about myself and all my problems.

I remember saying, “That's not my anxiety.” I spoke with such conviction.

You see my whole life I had taken on the feelings of other people. Some would call me an empath. I came to a place in my life where I couldn’t distinguish my feelings from someone else’s feelings.

But therapy.

Well, therapy and a lot of reading and trusted voices and Jesus (too) helped me see how tangled up I was in everyone else. It was so freeing to say, “That’s not my anxiety.” Saying this out loud was drawing a line in the sand, holding my ground, separating myself from others.

I starting doing this all the time:

• That’s not my sadness

• That’s not my pain

• That’s not my anger

You get the point.

Today, twenty some years later, I don’t soak up everyone’s pain as much as I did. But every once in a while, I need to give people back their feelings and I need figure out what I actually feel.

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Maybe today you feel stressed, anxious, sad, or overwhelmed. But, maybe, those aren’t YOUR feelings, but the feelings of someone you care about. Perhaps, it’s time to say the phrase out loud: That’s not my ____________.

We can carry people, but it’s not wise to carry them on our backs. We carry people back to Jesus. We release them back to the One who can carry those we love perfectly.

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If you need a resource for your complicated emotions. Feel—A compilation of liturgies offering hope for every complicated emotion might be just what you need (or the loved one whose emotions you are carrying)

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May you find peace today, sister.